The Love Coach

We honestly love celebrities. The D-listers, the beautiful people and everyone in between. But sometimes, we have to scratch our heads at the match-ups made in Hollywood. We know we should be used to older, overweight rich men getting gorgeous babes, but for some reason we can’t get over it. To celebrate our confusion, we’ve put together this list of 10 ridiculous celebrities — ridiculous meaning anything from reality star to party girl to just plain tacky — and the arm candy they love to show off.

1. Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon: Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon surprised everyone when they first started dating, but when they got married soon after, things got really confusing. So who’s the arm candy and who’s the ridiculous one? Cannon, 11 years younger than Mariah, is pretty sexy and kind of successful, though a little goofy, and Carey, who’s of course super rich, quite attractive and maybe a little foolish when it comes to career choices, actually seems to be at the top of her game now with her popular E=MC2 album and slimmer figure.
2. Hugh Hefner and Holly Madison: Of all the ridiculous celebrities out there, Hugh Hefner is one of the most ridonkulous. He’s always had arm candy, ever since he started the whole Playboy thing back in the 50s (yes 50s). His current, actual girlfriend, Holly Madison, is more than just a boob job and blonde hair, though. She’s actually really pretty, albeit a little deluded about expecting Hef to propose so they can live happily ever after…with all the other bunnies.
3. Nicolas Sarkozy and Carla Bruni: We know that you don’t get to be the president of France if you’re totally ridiculous, but Nicolas Sarkozy has gotten a lot of flack for suddenly marrying a former supermodel and pop star after getting divorced just four months earlier. Carla Bruni, who is still amazingly gorgeous after a long time at the top of celebrity, including romances with other high profile stars like Eric Clapton and Mick Jagger, has been on the arm of her husband during trips to England and Egypt, and the two have been spotted nuzzling at cafes and at more official events. The French, who we all thought were major supporters of affairs and PDA have "grow[n] weary" of seeing their president act like silly teenage boy at every turn.
4. Linda Hogan and Charley Hill: This relationship might just be the most ridiculous and bizarre one of the year. Linda Hogan’s much younger conquest, the 19-year old Charley Hill and former classmate of Linda’s daughter Brooke, is just as blonde and tan and crazy looking as his new girlfriend, and frankly, we’re all kind of upset. The two have been cavorting around not long after Hulk Hogan and Linda separated and after Nick Hogan went to jail for reckless driving. By way of Popcrunch, one tabloid dishes that "[Linda Hogan] even says Charlie is the best sex she’s ever had" and that Hogan threw a party for his friends, who repaid her by stealing "tons of pictures and valuables while at the party." Oh, and just to be clear, we’re only letting Charley Hill pull the youth card to qualify for arm candy status, because we haven’t seen a decent picture of him yet.
5. Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag: Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag: Perhaps the ultimate in ridiculous/D-list/annoying celebrities, Spencer Pratt, of The Hills fame and cheesy photo ops, is the one in the group who absolutely does not count as arm candy. Heidi Montag, who probably was a cute little blonde in high school, is starting to push her luck, as her participation in said PDA-infused photo ops is incredibly nauseating. Not to mention the blonder and blonder hair, fake lips and boob job. Is there a difference anymore between arm candy and trophy wife? Please make them go away.
6. Taylor Locke and Mischa Barton: Here we have another case of two hotties turned ridiculous celebrities, so in effect, they can each fit into both categories, making it all the easier on us. Taylor Locke, a guitar player for the group Rooney, is actually pretty cute. Mischa Barton, back in the day, was seriously popular and sexy thanks to The O.C.. Touted as an edgy fashionista, Barton is starting to go over board with her hippie looks and fascination with the 60s and 70s: a trend that Locke has embraced as well. Put them together, and you get two beautiful people ruined by silly costumes.
7. Jack Black and Tanya Haden: Okay, we get it. Jack Black is funny. Sometimes he’s hysterical. Sometimes he’s annoying. But he’s also married to the very pretty Tanya Haden, who must love boisterous, chubby dudes with kind of intense facial expressions. She’s also a cellist and singer and has worked with various other respected artists, including her triplet sisters Rachel and Petra. Yup, that’s right. Jack Black got himself triplets. Black and Haden have been married since 2006 and have two sons.
8. Harvey Weinstein and Georgina Chapman: Georgina Chapman is elegant, refined and talented. Harvey Weinstein is rich and powerful. Okay, we’ve never met him, so he might also be a really sweet guy. But he’s also a little unattractive and messy looking. Chapman, one half of the design team of Marchesa, married Weinstein in Connecticut in December of 2007 in front of guests like Anna Wintour, Jennifer Lopez, Quentin Tarantino, NYC Mayor Bloomberg, Denzel Washington and others, and the couple is at the top of Hollywood, New York, fashion and entertainment royalty.
9. Sacha Baron Cohen and Isla Fisher: God knows we all love us some Borat and Ali G. And to be quite honest, without the crazy costumes and facial hair, Sacha Baron Cohen isn’t that unattractive. But in the non-celebrity world, most might say that Wedding Crashers star Isla Fisher is out of his league. The feisty and super silly red head is also very hot and working on converting to Judaism for her fiance. The couple already has a baby girl together.
10. Beth Ostrosky and Howard Stern: Nineties actress Beth Ostrosky is 5′10, blonde and also a swimsuit model. Howard Stern has a serious fan base and is very rich, loves to be controversial and isn’t that pretty. But the couple has been together since 2000 and an October 2008 wedding is suspected. Stern obviously recognizes a gift from a God when he gets one, telling Ostrosky — by way of Extra TV — that "I’m very honored to be engaged to you. I think what we have is true love." Awww.

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